Spring Cleaning - Split or Commit for Summer?

Summertime is filled with opportunities for dating and finding love in San Diego.

If you are on the fence about the current level of commitment with your partner, we recommend you do a little spring cleaning to determine whether you should move forward, or avoid bringing that sand to the beach this summer!

From measuring your PDA to future compatibility tests and the great texting debate, San Diego Dating Coach DeAnna Lorraine shares her tips for spring cleaning this season.

Do they typically only make week-night plans with you? Then beware! If they seem to only want to make plans with you on the week-days and rarely the weekends, or if you’re finding yourself not wanting to share your weekend night for your partner, it means you’re not important enough to take up a precious weekend night and you still want to keep your options open. If you really are into someone then you’re only problem is how many nights is too many to see them in a row!

Are you only attracted to them conditionally? Do you often find yourself critiquing your love interest’s hair, outfits, mannerisms, or overall appearance - secretly wishing they would make certain improvements? If this is you, you may want to do this person a favor and cut them loose before summer. If you’re truly attracted to someone, you should find them perfect in every light. You’re only dooming yourself if you enter into a committed relationship on the premise of changing the other.

Are you interested in getting to know their friends, family, and interests - or do you not really care? If not, it means you don’t see them as long-term potential, and you might as well break it off before the summer hits so you can strut around guilt-free and flirt shamelessly.

Check your compatibility. Make a list of all the qualities and traits you must have in a long-term partner. Now (without rationalizing) how does your current partner match up? Do you guys have the same goals and values? Only proceed with them into summer if they’ve got everything on your list; otherwise you’re better off not taking yourself off the market.

Would you rather be out on the town with your girls (or boys) as a solo rather than bringing along your date? Yes, having “Girls Nights” and “Boys Nights” are essential, but if you consistently prefer hanging out with your buddies more than your partner or you feel like they hold you back when you’re out, then you just don’t feel strongly enough about them to pull you through summer. When you’re truly gaga about someone you’re eager to be alone with them - as much as humanly possible!

Does your new love interest typically text you to ask you out instead of calling you? C’mon, if this person is that lazy or wimpy that they need to hide behind texting and can’t just pick up a phone to call you, just think of what the future holds for you!

Do you have a lot of fun trips and activities planned with your friends over summer that have potential for meeting other singles? If so, you may want to post-pone that “Commitment Talk” until after the break so you aren’t tied down in the face of opportunities!

Are you hesitant to make solid future plans with your partner for the summer? Find yourself just “Pencil-ing in” that trip to Mexico they invited you to? Then your gut is telling you that you don’t see this person in the future with you, and you’re just going along for the ride. If you’re already envisioning your life with this person months or years ahead, then your summer love is secured with kisses.

Do you avoid PDAs and introductions when you’re around the opposite sex? If you—or your partner—avoid PDAs and feel squeamish when you have to introduce the other as your “Boyfriend” or “Girlfriend” to friends and other good-looking singles, then it may mean you wish you were single! Open affection, however, shows a partner is proud to be yours and wants to show you off.

Are your arguments starting to outnumber the “Good” times? Yes we all want to think things are going to get better, especially when we feel strongly for someone. But at some point you’ve got to take an honest look at your time together and see if that time is genuinely improving, or if it’s stagnating or declining. Don’t drag something on for longer than you should just because you don’t want to be alone.

Remember that when you’re in a bad relationship, you’re TWO steps away from being in the one that you really want! So follow these tips, listen to your gut and whether you decide to remain single or commit, make it your choice and soak in the summer love.