Sitting up in their little blue towers with their bronzed bodies, sun-bleached hair and red swimsuits, San Diego lifeguards seem unattainable to the average observer. But during the summer in San Diego, it’s hard not to develop instant an crush on one of the brave souls protecting San Diego’s beaches.
So what pickup techniques do San Diego lifeguards really fall for? We asked a few of the city’s finest lifeguards about their best and worst beach-flirting experiences of the summer. Here are the top five ways to “land a lifeguard”.
Leave a Note with your Phone Number
Protecting San Diego beaches for over 30 years, longtime San Diego lifeguard Leonard Ortiz has gotten his fair share of love notes.
Once, a young woman laying in front of his tower all day kept tossing glances at him while posing in her bikini. Finally, when he went back to his lifeguard jeep to drive back to the station at the end of the day, he found a note on his windshield. On the note was a phone number followed by the words “green bikini.” Leonard said he called her that night and took her out to dinner.
“I would’ve been an idiot not to call her,” he laughs. “Especially since green is my favorite color!"
Forget Your Sunscreen
Rookie lifeguard Nick Lombardo, age 21, says he was surprised by how many girls came over to his tower asking if he had any sunscreen they could borrow. Though he knew it was usually because the girls wanted to talk to him, Nick did his duty and always gave them a sunscreen with an SPF of 15 or higher.
“If she was really cute, I’d even offer to put some on her back for her,” he chuckles. “But they were usually high school girls who were too young for me.”
Swim in the Surfing Section
For mutinous lifeguard-catchers only: a definite way to get a lifeguard into the water is to blatantly disobey one.
Swimming in a flagged area designated for surfing is one thing that absolutely drives lifeguards crazy. Hope Gruzzo, age 22, tells about one young guy who was bodysurfing in the surfing area. On the first instance she ran down to the shoreline, blew her whistle and motioned with her buoy for him to move over. Reluctantly, the guy got out of the water.
About an hour later, he was out there again, bodysurfing in the surfing section. By this time Hope was irritated and decided to give him a piece of her mind. Hoping to embarrass him, she swam to where the guy was and started yelling at him to move over. But the guy simply answered, “So, now that I’ve got your attention, do you wanna go out with me?”
Gruzzo declined his offer, though she admits she was flattered by his creativity. She said it was a better pick-up line than those most men try – which usually boil down to, “Hey babe! If I drown will you give me mouth-to-mouth?”
Bring them Food
“If you bring a lifeguard food, you are sure to grab their attention,” claims Leaonard. “Sitting out in the sun all day really builds up an appetite.”
A fellow lifeguard friend of his has always joked, “Bring me over a 12-inch sub, and I will show you my 12 inches of love.”
Get Stung By a Jellyfish
Although the sting of a jellyfish can be painful, it isn’t lethal. Recounts Nick, this summer’s weirdest pick-up attempt has to be the girl who picked-up a dead jellyfish, purposely stinging herself, in order to get a chance to talk to the lifeguard on duty. The common treatment for a jellyfish sting is putting vinegar – or urine – on the wound to stop the stinging.
“I heard this girl was so freaky she came up to the tower and asked the guy if he could pee on her!” Nick exclaims. Embarrassed, the lifeguard simply sprayed some vinegar on her and told her she would be fine. “Then she even had the nerve to ask him out,” Nick says, “but he totally denied her.”
Looks like this girl didn’t land her lifeguard, although Nick says most of his lifeguard friends did date at least one girl they had met on the beach this summer.
“You’d be surprised how many chicks these red shorts can get you,” he explains. “Though usually it’s the lifeguard hitting on the girls, not the other way around. But it is always cool when a girl tries to pick you up.”
So, for those of you still dreaming about that cute guy or girl protecting your local San Diego beach, you have a whole year to figure out how to plan your attack for next summer.
